How much easier it would have been
\nfor me<\/p>\n
if all those unseen, unshown inner burnings,
\nall that vomiting, all that nausea,
\nall that delirium, all those punctures,
\nall those forced awakenings
\nall those forced feedings,
\nall that fear
\nabout what is going to be done to you next,
\nby whom, where, when,<\/p>\n
had been my fears and burnings and not yours.<\/p>\n
How much easier it would have been
\nfor me.<\/p>\n
But this is not about me.<\/p>\n
The loss,
\nnow looming,
\nis not my loss.<\/p>\n
I am powerless,<\/p>\n
except to wrench from you
\nwhat’s left of you<\/p>\n
and I will do it.<\/p>\n
I have no words.<\/p>\n
Only boundless, endless love,
\nfor you, my own dear little Phaya.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
How much easier it would have been for me if all those unseen, unshown inner burnings, all that vomiting, all that nausea, all that delirium, all those punctures, all those forced awakenings all those forced feedings, all that fear about what is going to be done to you next, by whom, where, when, had been … <\/p>\n